this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
