just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Enjoy the penises
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
