it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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