Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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