Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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