wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Mom said you looked used
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
