Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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