That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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