hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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