My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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