I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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