i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
