Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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