got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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