I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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