Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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