Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
