His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
