Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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