i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
