I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize