This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
