you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
