sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
