That's when you crack a 10am beer
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
