I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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