used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
