at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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