During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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