i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
