all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
