Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
