my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
