fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
