I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
