I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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