Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize