I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
