YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
