I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize