I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
