she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize