this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
