Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
