She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
