so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
