I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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