I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
