whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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