people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
