My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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