he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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