She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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