Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
