we have officially lost it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
