As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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