how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
