i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
