Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
