roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
