You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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