oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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