So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
