I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
